Now this article is the myth of ” Nothing To It Parenting.
“Many people think that having a child instantly makes them a parent.Nothing …Nothing could be further from the truth!Here’s what most people do.They say “Parenting nothing to it … “Here’s Their Logic …”I’m awesome.I came out OK.So here’s what I’ll do …I’m going to raise my kids the way I was raised … except I’m not going to make these five mistakes that my parents made.If my parents didn’t make these five mistakes with me ..I would be double super awesome.Is that a real word “double super awesome.” 🙂 Yeah … we’ll make a new word.:)I would be double super awesome.So all I got to do is … DO all the things RIGHT that my parents did … and then NOT do the FIVE things that my parents did WRONG … and my Child will be Awesome! Simple.
“And off they go.Then they try to do this.Then they realize that this is like a heart surgeon saying, “Oh, I’m going to watch this heart surgeon do this operation.And I see that he made Five mistakes and I’m not going to make those Five mistakes.And by the end of the day I’m an excellent heart surgeon.”NO!!! You’ve got about 12 more years of training …Probably two more years of internship and then they might let you touch a patient’s heart.This is very complicated stuff!There is NO such thing as “Nothing To It Parenting” … except when you’re SCREWING UP!Here’s how complicated parenting is …Remember, I said in the last section … the parent got 16 years with the child …I got 16 hours.You have to have a LOT of skill to turn somebody around 16 hours … especially when it’s an entire family!You’ve got a lot of people in a Family to deal with … and 16 years worth of issues.
How could I do that Successfully?Because for me to even come in to your home … and give you even one piece of advice about you or your child …. Here’s how much training I had to do.I have to go out and have to get a four year degree in psychology Bachelor’s level.Then I got to go out and I got to get a second degree, it’s called a Master’s.That’s another four years.Then I’ve got to do two years of internship and training.Then, I’ve got to study and go for my License.So after about 10 to 11 years I get a license … and they say I am qualified to do some Family Counseling.I can go into your home and I can give you one piece of advice about your child because now I’m properly trained to deal with a parent and the child.And if I really want to be really good at it …I got to go back get a doctorate and that’s probably going to be another three or four years.And that’s what I have.I’ve got a Bachelor’s Degree, 2 Master’s Degrees and a Doctorate Degree.
I’ve had about had about every Licen sure you could ever want.So you need this level of skill too.You’ve got to train like you trying to get a Ph.D. in how to raise children. BUT … I want to tell you it’s not your fault.When you have a child when you have that baby and you’re taking him out of the hospital you had the birthing.They won’t send you home with so much as a pamphlet on how to be a parent! AMAZING! Let me tell you what the average parent does.They start doing that”Nothing To It Parenting” …. they count on their five fingers …. Here’s the five things and I’m NOT going to do that my parents did …. and my child will become “double super awesome.”That’s exactly what they do.But they will not read even one book on parenting.
And you say well, maybe you don’t have 20 hours to sit down or read a book.You say well, you could listen to it on books on tape … do while you drive around in your car. You won’t even waste any personal time.Well, how many people have done that?Almost none!Less than 1% of the population did either reading the book or doing the tapes in the car.You say, well maybe you’ve got time for a 60 minute cassette tape or MP3 Nope … haven’t got time for that.Well maybe you could take one hour course on parenting.
Nope!Well maybe you could read this pamphlet? NOPE!How about this little tip sheet.It’s got three tips on how to be a better parent. Nope!Now you are in the ninety-nine percentile if you haven’t done a damn thing to learn about parenting. MAYBE you read the occasional article, you flip through a magazine … that’s about the most typical parents do.Just sad.So don’t feel bad.But now you’re in the TOP one tenth of 1 percent of all parents … Because YOU are taking this course!So I want you to be VERY proud of yourself.I also want you to get on yourself and hold yourself to a higher standard.I know thy tracking my courses, That this is this just part of human nature …but each section that people go through (usually about say 10 sections in a training) … about 20 percent of the audience drops out … until there’s almost nobody.
Only about 10 percent of people actually do the entire course!Why???It’s just one of those weird pieces of psychology.People seem motivated to do things …and even though you giving them secrets of the universe … things that are going to take years off their learning curve … save them massive pain … save them thousands or millions of dollars … or sometimes life saving information.You’ll still see the same drop off.I call it the “Idiot Factor” … but it happens.Make sure you’re not getting lumped in with these people that are creating this “Idiot Factor.” Be the “Genius Factor” … The 10 percent of people who are going to go ALL the way through because they know it would be INSANE not to!And it is.So make sure you’re that person … go all the way through.Don’t go back to the “Nothing To It Parenting” … Instead,
Why?Because it’s going to take Training & Hundreds of tries to get it right.Make Sense?To get it right once is hard.Parenting is hard.These skills are things you may have to try Several times … until you get it.Why?Because these are skills that require adjustments … t adjusting for you, your style, and the personality of your child and your unique situation.So there’s always you, the child and the situation to consider.There’s also things like timing and sequencing and these types of things.So every skill has some sub-skills that you have to learn.So it needs practice to get it right.Now you wouldn’t but go to a store… buy a radio that works.
Plug it in.and say “all I’m getting is static.”Try it once or twice and then throw it up against the wall.”This thing doesn’t work.”You say, “No, no, no! You have to TUNE it in!”You have to read the instructions … maybe didn’t even turn the power on.Did you know to plug it in?:)Then you got to fine tune it… until it gets a really nice sound for you.You have to get the bass in the treble right too.There’s more than one thing that you have to do which is plug it in and say “OK, impress me with beautiful sound.”When you’re learning any skill … it works like that.So parenting, again, it’s like a Ph.D. or an M.D. that you have to get.It takes a massive amount of skill training and time.So here’s one of your first great tools.Ready?Parenting 101 says that “Kids listen to almost NOTHING you say and they WATCH everything you do.”This is even neurologically true.
Kids have what they call “Mirror Neurons.”They are in something called the “Imprint Period” … where they don’t question anything and they just absorb.And how kids absorb the most? Through OBSERVATION!That’s how they absorb things.They don’t listen.The first two or three years your kid doesn’t really even understand spoken language.And the most important years is zero to two. By the age of two.They’re speaking about 150 -200 words.Me hungry. Mommy feed me. Tired.You know they’re like little cavemen.They’re cute little cavemen :)They’re awesome … but they listen to almost nothing you say and they watch everything you do.They don’t have the intellectual ability until about age 3-5 to even do that.And even then they don’t have full intellectual ability and a fully developed prefrontal cortex in their brain until they are twenty one years old! Did you know that?Twenty one years old before your brain development stops. WOW!And what’s the “Prefrontal Cortex?It’s the Brain Function that does executive decision making and judgment and planning.Can you understand now WHY you have having some of these problems with your child?Yeah.This is why I use very simple language with them … and explain it multiple ways.But the best way to explain it is to show them … to demonstrate.So WHO you are … and WHAT you do is huge!And that takes us to the next part.”Role Modeling.” You have to do … “Do as I AM” NOT “Do as I SAY” Parenting.Remember …. Do as I say parenting has never worked in a million years.
Children listen to nothing you say … and they watch everything you do.Go ahead and sit there with a cigarette and say ‘These damn things are curse! I want you to be smarter than your father when you grow up and don’t smoke these damn things … I wish I never started.”You know they’re going to do.Most of them are going to go out and smoke.Because of YOUR commitment to smoking.They think you’re stronger than them … and you are …. you’re mentally physically emotionally stronger than them and you can’t quit So therefore how can you ask a small child to quit?That’s like there’s this big guy over the corner and I can’t beat him in a fight … I’ll send my 10 year old Son over …he weighs at least 110 pounds …Why don’t you go over there take him on and come back and tell me about your success.No! T they can’t do it!If YOU can’t do it … THEY can’t do it.Make Sense?Don’t be overweight and tell your child to lose weight.
Don’t be smoking a cigarette … while you are telling him not to smoke.Don’t be drinking and drugging … and tell him not to touch alcohol.Don’t let him see you having arguments with your Husband/Wife (yelling and screaming) …and tell the child about their anger management issues and why they shouldn’t get so upset.I worked with a therapist one time … and he taught our Anger Management class.And after a class … he went into the next room and started shouting at of the other therapists and the kids were like “WOW! I’m NEVER going to listen this therapist every again between now when I die!” He could do everything perfect for the rest of their treatment stay … and they would never listen to him.Why?Because what he SAID didn’t MATCH what he did … and that’s called being a LIAR.I don’t want to put too fine a point on it … But you are a liar …When you are not consistent. Inconsistency equals … fake, liar, and fraud.So, if you want child to behave a certain way … GO FIRST! You want your child to treat you with respect …Treat them respect. You don’t want your child to yell at you …. don’t yell at your child.You don’t want your Child to Smoke …Don’t smoke!You don’t want your child to drink and drug … Don’t You drink and drug. You want them to come home on time …. make sure you come home on time.You want them to keep their promises … You keep your promises.Kids are a little slow.
You may need to go first, second and third … But at least go first … be consistent.Consistency is HUGE in Parenting.Role modeling is HUGE in parenting.And if you’re watching this … and you got an adolescent that’s gone the other way … you have to be very consistent and you will have to go several times. When you want to get them to start respecting you and they’re disrespecting you.You could set good limits and teach you the boundaries and stuff on it.BUT… you have to always be respectful of them … even when they’re disrespectful to you.Be a ROLE-MODEL You don’t have to accept their disrespect … but you do have to be respectful.Make Sense?So Consistency, Respect and Role-Modeling are HUGE!Now,
I said parenting takes a tremendous amount of study and training.So first thing is make sure you get through this entire training. Then feel free to go out take a second, third or fourth one.:)How to Get A Bachelors Degree …It requires a LOT of Reading ..MATH: 5 classes, 2 semesters a year, is 10 Classes per year.four years … that’s 40 classes … an average of two books per class … That’s 80 BOOKS I read just to get a Bachelor’s Degree!Have you read even one book on parenting?Maybe can read 5% of what I did?And remember, I have 4 degrees … so maybe I can do 1-2 % of what I did … and just read 2-4 books on parenting.I guarantee you by the time you read four books on parenting you would know more than 99.9% percent of ALL parents out there! GENIUS!You so Skillful. And how long would it take you to read a book on parenting?About 15 to 20 hours … it depends on how thick the book is … and how quick you read.
So it would take you about 15 to 20 minutes a day for maybe about a month and you’re done and you’re in the top one tenth of one percent or higher of ALL parents out there – You are Amazing!You’ve learned more in 1-4 months than most parents will learn in their entire lifetime! WOW!YOU are a WINNER!WINNERS are always consistently learning, training and studying.And I want you to have this as a life tip for ALL areas of your life.The average person will read one book in their career on their profession and they think “I’m 20 years in the field and I’m so great and I do this and that and I’m so much more experienced now and I know so much more.” LIES!No! You just did the first year 20 times and you got a little bit better with practice.
REALITY: You could read you know 5-10 books over the course of your career and you could have been 10 times better.But you didn’t care enough to slow down and study just a little.Remember everything is “First to STUDY, and then a PRACTICE”. So quick parenting test.Have you studied PARENTING?Have you studied CHILD DEVELOPMENT? Now if you’ve got a young child or are you going to have a second child or whatever … you need to know child development.I can’t tell you how many parents come to me in tears because they didn’t realize that because they didn’t start study child development … they were harmed by what they DIDN’T Know.Because they didn’t read the child development books … they didn’t know their child was supposed to be a certain height or a certain weight at a certain time … and therefore they didn’t catch a disease or a nutritional deficiency or something like that or a genetic disorder quick enough to have treated it when it would have been fast, simple and easy to fix. When it would have save them from tremendous difficulties and even Life-time Deficits.Say your child has a hearing problem and you don’t detect it.
They smile and they are Giggling … they look fine. BUT you don’t notice that they have a hearing problem.
Maybe its a little minor infection that a couple of tablets of penicillin would have solved …
but could make them deaf later or cause inner ear balance disturbances, or create a learning disability or a language disability. Hearing is MUCH more than just hearing.
Hearing is language development, it’s intelligence level, its balance … It’s a lot of things!So you have to learn some child development.I hope I’ve sold you on that … If I didn’t, please go back and you sell you on it.You need it. You have to have it.These are REQUIREMENTS of Parenting. Remember: parenting is not about you.”Oh, I don’t feel like reading a Child Development book.”So what???This is not about YOU!This is about the child!So,If you were an employee on a job and I said this is your job and I said read this book on your job and you told the boss I’m not going to read that book .. You would be Fired. Right?Well as a Parent, you should be fired if you’re not going to read a book on parenting. If you’re not going to read one on child development.
Don’t dodge it.I hope you learned and enjoyed these great tips.These can really help you excel in the area of Parenting and have a better life for yourself.